


Thorin's Unexpected Mall Adventure

by JUMPINGMANATEE



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Chocolate, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Lingerie, Pregnancy, Thorin Is an Idiot, Thorin is a Softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JUMPINGMANATEE/pseuds/JUMPINGMANATEE
Summary: Thorin would do anything for love, even if it meant taking him on a quest to the foulest place he could think of, the mall. But he won't be going alone.





	

There it was, his nemesis, the thing he hated and feared more than anything. The thing he had to face every year: The mall.  
Every year it was the same thing, cross over into your world, go into that blasted place to buy you a gift, oh but first finding a parking space in the endless sea of cars, Then working his way through the throngs of rude thoughtless people that insisted on pushing him around. While others insisted on trying to spray him with foul perfume. 

He was king damn it, he shouldn't have to go through this, but for you he would do anything, he even learned to drive a car just to please you. Thank Mahal he only had to make this trip once a year. The only good thing about the mall was the food court, he really did enjoy gorging himself on the food from your world "Junk Food" as you called it.

But this year was different, he had returned for a second time after making a fatal mistake and could think of no other way to remedy it. It all started with a little question.

"Do you think I look fat?" You asked him as you stood sideways in front of the mirror staring at your pregnant belly.

Thorin, sitting at his desk didn't even bother to look up at you.

"Well, my love, you are bound to gain weight with the pregnancy and besides it looks nice on you." He said as he continued to reading over some papers.

Your mouth fell open as you stood there staring at your husband. Thorin suddenly felt a chill run through him, he looked up and met your eyes glaring at him.

"Oh, so I do look fat!" you say to him.

Ever the honest Dwarf, all he could do was tell the truth.

"Just a little fat, but as I said it is to be expected, you are with child. But, my love, you look beautiful like this."

"So what you're saying is that I wasn't beautiful before, that I was too thin? You don't find me attractive anymore." You said as tears begin to well up in your eyes.

Thorin let's out a sigh and stands up making his way over to his queen. "I am not saying that at all, Amrâlimê." He says as he reaches for you.

"Uh huh, good night Thorin." You say as you move out of his grasp and climb into bed, cacooning yourself in the blankets.

It has now been three days and you had yet to speak to Thorin, let alone let him touch you, he was getting desperate, thus the trip to the mall. But this time he did not come alone.

"Why in Mahal's name did you bring us to this filthy place, Thorin?" Dwalin asks as he gets out of the passengers side of the SUV.

"Because if I am to suffer, I am not going to suffer alone."

"This place does not look too bad, Uncle." Fili says as he gets out of the back seat.

"And the ride over here was a lot of fun." Kili says when he gets out.

"Are you mad, that ride was a nightmare, you drive entirely too fast, Thorin." Balin says as he gets out, looking a little green in the face.

"I liked it." Bombur says as he rolls out of the vehicle.

They make their way into the mall looking around in awe and a little fear.

"No wonder you don't like coming here, Thorin, there's too many damn people and it's too noisy." Dwalin says to to him.

They walk further into the mall, when Thorin stops in front of a map of the whole mall. "Alright, we are going to split up and each look for something that might appease the Queen, I don't care what it is as long as you think she'll like it and she'll forgive me. We will meet in the food court in an hour, if you get lost there are maps like these all through out the mall."

"Couldn't we go to the food court first?" Bombur asks.

"No, we must tend to this quest first and then we can feast on junk food." Thorin tells them.

With that they split up, Fili and Kili of course going together. The Dwarves of Erebor wandered around the mall looking into every shop trying to figure out what would make their very pregnant, very hormonal, friend and queen happy again.

Fili and Kili wandered around until they found a colorful store that had all sorts a floating things that they had come to learn from you were called balloons, the store also carried a lot of stuffed animals. They looked at each other and grinned, walking into the store. Ten minutes later they came out with a bunch of balloons and five stuffed animals each ranging from lions, and bears to wolves and elephants. They of course bought some extra ones for themselves.

"There, I think this will make Y/N forgive Uncle." Fili says to Kili.

"Aye, I think so too, now let's go buy some more things for ourselves."

Bilbo had something specific in mind to get Y/N. He remembered her talking about a shop called Bath and Body Works that sold the most amazing smelling products. Checking the map that Thorin had showed him he nearly let out a triumphant yell when he found the shop and noticed he wasn't that far from it. He went into the shop and was immediately greeted by a pleasant young woman.

"Good afternoon, sir, is there anything I could help you with?" The sales clerk asked with a smile.

"Yes you can, my dunderhead of a friend was silly enough to tell his pregnant wife that she looks fat…"

"And now she's not speaking to him." The young lady states.

"Bilbo smiles, "Exactly, so what would you recommend?" 

"I would recommend buying her a gift basket of her favorite lotions, bath oils, massage oils, body spray, soaps and scented candles. Maybe some cocoa butter so your friend can apply it to his wife's tummy so she won't get stretch marks." The sales clerk tells Bilbo.

"That sounds perfect I'll take the biggest basket you have in Y/F/S."

"Of course, sir, I'll have it gift wrapped for you."

Bombur wasn't sure what to get the lass, there were so many things to choose from. He thought maybe a perfume, but the smell was so strong, he couldn't bring himself to walk into the shop. Then suddenly he was hit with the most wonderful smell he had every smelled. He followed his nose to the shop, practically floating there. When he got there he discovered that it was a gourmet sweet shop and bakery. He suddenly remembered how there were times you would wander down to the kitchens with a craving for chocolate, and chocolate chip cookies and cake, basically anything chocolate. But chocolate wasn't something that was readily available in Erebor and you would go back to bed frustrated and disappointed, breaking his heart because he couldn't get you what you wanted.

Not this time, Bombur strolled into the shop and announced to the clerk, "Give me seventy five pounds of your best chocolate, my good man, and twenty pounds of chocolate chip cookies!" 

The clerk nearly swooned at the amount of chocolate Bombur had just ordered, but then looking over at Bombur he could see why he wanted so much. But Bombur had other ideas in mind, the next time you wanted a chocolate cake you would have it.

Balin knew exactly where he wanted to go, he went looking for the nearest book store he could find, he had a pretty good idea what you would want to read. You had told him once that you were nervous about becoming a mother. That there was so many things that you didn't know. That you wished you could go to your own world and get some parenting and baby books. He always reassured you that you didn't need such things, that you would be a great mother, but you were still insecure.

So Balin decided to get a few books on parenting just to ease your mind, he also came across a baby naming book and thought you might like it. A half human half Dwarven child deserved a unique name maybe this book could help you and Thorin pick one. Balin also got a few books of poetry recommended by the clerk, knowing how much Thorin loved to read to you and the baby.

Dwalin was in hell, he had been wandering around the mall aimlessly looking for something that might give Thorin a chance at getting your forgiveness. But he couldn't think of a damn thing and by this time he was really missing his war hammer, he would give anything to get all these people away from him.

He walked passed shop after shop but still nothing caught his eye, until he walked passed one in particular. Dwalin walked back and looked up at the sign, a pet shop. It was perfect, he knew how much you loved animals, and what better thing to get you than something you could lavish all that extra love onto until the baby was born. Especially if it would get you to stop hugging him all the time and calling him a great big teddy bear, not that he mind just not all the freaking time.

He walked into the shop and was immediately assaulted by the sounds and smells of all sort of different animals. He wandered around the shop looking at the assortment of animals. He went and looked at the fish and thought, 'how could a fish show Y/N affection?' Then he saw a bunch of lizards and thought they looked too much like Smaug, it would freak Thorin out.

Then he saw the cutest little dogs he had ever seen, they were jumping around and wrestling in an enclosure, Dwalin went up to the sales clerk and asked what kind of dogs they were.

"Why these are toy poodles, sir." The clerk informs Dwalin.

"Toys? They look real to me."

The young lady giggles. "No that means the type of poodle they are, these are called toys because they won't grow very big."

Dwalin nods, "What other kind of dogs do you have?"

Dwalin ended up leaving with three puppies two toy poodles, a male and a female and a Rottweiler so he could train it when it grew up to protect Y/N and the baby. The extra toy poodle was for him.

Thorin stood in front of the shop, his face red with embarrassment. He had been standing outside the doors of the lingerie shop for nearly five minutes, trying to pluck up enough courage to go inside. Finally he took a deep breath and walked inside. His mouth fell open as he looked at all the skimpy underwear that were on display and his face became a deeper shade of red. Thorin almost bolted from the store when a nice young lady came up to him and asked him if he needed help.

Thorin looked down at his boots. "I need to buy something special for my wife, she's pregnant you see…"

The clerk gave him a sympathetic smile. "And she thinks she isn't sexy anymore." The clerk stated quite frankly.

Thorin nods, "Oh but she is, she's very sexy with that beautiful belly of hers…" 

Thorin's voice trails off as he begins to imagine his beautiful pregnant Queen, his eyes begin to dilate just thinking of you. The clerk chuckles at the look on Thorin's face, she clears her throat to bring Thorin back to the present.

"Sir, sir, I think we might have just what you're looking for."

She leads him over to the section specifically for pregnant women. The clerk begins to show him frilly bras that will help support your breasts but are still pretty and panties that will ease the weight of your belly. She also show him some sexier lingerie that causes Thorin to blush but he get them anyway. He also gets several teddies in your favorite colors and some massage oil. Thorin was going to make sure that you always felt sexy and loved.

Once everything was gift wrapped and paid for he heads for the food court to meet the others, after the day they had they deserved a good feast on all the junk food they could eat.

 

Meanwhile back in Erebor:

You were lonely, depressed and crying. You hadn't spoken to your husband in three days, after he had called you fat and said you weren't sexy anymore. Well, that wasn't exactly what he said, but that's what he meant damn it, and it hurt! You knew you were being irrational, but you couldn't help it, that was just the way you felt. And now, now that you wanted comfort you couldn't find your husband or your substitute teddy bear, Dwalin, anywhere. For that matter Fili and Kili were missing along with Balin and Bombur. Where was everyone, had they all decided to abandon you at the same time?

You were lying in your bed six months pregnant with your enormous belly crying your eyes out when suddenly the doors to your bedroom chambers open and a little three puppies come running in, jump on the bed and start licking you.

You start laughing as they tickle your face "Where did you three come from?" You ask as you begin to pet and scratch their bellies.

"From me, lass, although one of those poodles is mine." Dwalin says as he walks in the door carrying all the stuff he bought at the pet store.

You look up and see the others walk in with their gifts for you, a great big smile blossoms on your face. 

"What's all this?" You ask the very Dwarves you had been looking for all day.

"We crossed over to your world and went to the mall today, Auntie, to buy you gifts to make you feel better." Fili says.

"And so you'll forgive Uncle." Kili adds though he gets an elbow in the side from Fili. 

"We just wanted you to know that we still think you're beautiful and that we all love you, especially Thorin." Bilbo tells you.

You burst into tears as each Dwarf leaves their gift on the bed. Though when you see Bombur's gift you squeal with delight and lunge for the chocolate, making everyone chuckle.

Popping a piece of chocolate in your mouth, you kick your feet in utter happiness, "Oh thank you, Bombur, I so needed this."

"You're welcome, lass, I bought you enough chocolate to last a lifetime, or at least hopefully the rest of your pregnancy." Bombur says with a laugh then kisses her head.

Thorin is the last one to give you his gift, he leans in and whispers in your ear, "I hope that this makes up for my insensitivity, my ghivashel, but I think you should open it when we're alone." He suggest then kisses you sweetly. You blush at the thought of what Thorin may have gotten you. 

With that comment the Dwarves take their leave each one wishing you a good night, Dwalin picking up the female poodle and taking her with him. Now that you are alone you open Thorin's gift, you pull out each piece of lingerie from the box and blush each piece sexier than the last.

Thorin smiles down at you "I wanted to let you know that no matter what, you will always be sexy to me." He tells you as he leans in once again and give you a passionate kiss.

Thorin gives you a mischievous grin, "Now, my love, why don't you change into one of those outfits while I go undress in the other room."

You eagerly agree as you watch him strut out of the room. Once in the bathroom Thorin takes his time undressing giving you enough time to choose one and change. He is so excited to see you in whatever lingerie you pick out that he throw the door open to the bathroom door and nearly rushes out of the bathroom.

"Ready or not here I come." Thorin says in a sing-song tone. But when he gets to the bed he see you in a black teddy snoring softly with the two puppies lying next to you fast asleep. 

Thorin lets out a sigh, he picks up the puppies and puts them in their dog beds. Thorin gets into bed blows out the candle then snuggles up to you.

"Perhaps we'll play tomorrow, my love." He whispers

"Okay." You mumble in your sleep.

Thorin chuckles, places a hand on your belly and goes to sleep.


End file.
